“If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.”
– From ‘Love Among the Chickens’
She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were wearing armchairs tight about the hips that season.
– From ‘Very Good, Jeeves’
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.
– From ‘The Girl in Blue’
A certain critic—for such men, I regret to say, do exist—made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained ‘all the old Wodehouse characters under different names’. He has probably now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have outgeneralled this man by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy.
-From Preface to ‘Summer Lightning’
“Have you ever heard of Market Snodsbury Grammar School?”
“It’s a grammar school at Market Snodsbury.”
I told her a little frigidly that I had divined as much.
– From ‘Right Ho, Jeeves’
“Ah, Valerie, here you are. Lady Constance, this is my niece, Valerie Twistleton. My favourite niece.”
“I am your only niece,” sniffed Valerie, haughtily.
“Maybe that’s the reason,” said Uncle Fred.
– From ‘Uncle Fred in the Springtime’
At this moment, the laurel bush, which had hitherto not spoken, said “Psst!”
– From ‘Summer Lightning’