Of Guarded Thoughts

I’ll be honest: I haven’t written (or been able to write) in a while because there are thoughts that are bubbling under the surface—about life, about scenic routes, about roads less traveled, about loving, about letting go, about letting go of those you love, about doing right by oneself, about forgetting everything one has been taught and rebuilding one’s core—and because there are people whose thoughts I do not want to allow to come into contact with mine…until I have acted upon them.

Now, if you had to choose between doing what’s right for you and doing what’s expected of you, which would you pick? Or, to phrase it another way, whom would you rather disappoint?

8 thoughts on “Of Guarded Thoughts

  1. thoughts are not guarded… guarded are the actions which we are to choose. If or whenever thoughts are guarded then there is a clearer path to tail.
    Choose whatever fills your heart with a bit more contempt, happiness and peace of mind.

    1. When there are thoughts that could be shared with the world but aren’t, they are being guarded, for whatever reason :)
      Content is all the heart seeks, but at the end we must remember it lies within…and that getting to that discovery is still a journey.

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!

  2. I feel your dilemma. I usually chose ‘what’s doing right for me’. You gotta take care of you first; to be happy and sane. However I hate disappointing ‘others’ almost as much. If the ‘others’ matter and care for you as much, they will understand, although not always right away. If the ‘others’ never understand well maybe disappointing them isn’t such a big deal after all. How many times have you understood after the others have disappointed you?

    1. I agree 100%. Perhaps if the people whom we might worry about disappointing love us as much as we do them (when the desire to please them comes from love and not from fear), they wouldn’t ask us to go against ourselves, but instead would encourage us to be the best we can be by following our hearts…

  3. I would do what’s right for me and try not to be too upset that other people don’t understand my choices. What I learned is people have insatiable expectations. No matter what you do, you can never completely satisfy anyone else’s expectations, and even if you could you would probably find your own satisfaction and happiness to elude you. It’s not to say their expectations aren’t important, it’s to say that my heart could never truly be content by chasing any path other than the one of my choosing.

    That being said, I would imagine our choices to be slightly different. I am essentially a product of America with no real connection to the culture of my ancestors. Being stripped of that, puts us in a position where we’re recreating from scratch instead of living up to 1000s of years of traditions and expectations. The expectations that have been given to me are largely of failure; of course I can’t willingly live up to those in good conscious.

    Funny that you post this today, because I have been having extensive conversations with some friends in Mumbai and New Delhi about the expectations of marriage to someone they don’t love vs. their own happiness. From these conversations, it has been reinforced that neither choice is easy.

    Peace and blessings to you,

    1. I don’t think our choices are different at all. It comes down to what’s more important to us. But it’s actually a very subjective question; it depends on so many factors.

      In any case, whether it’s the topic of marriage, such as with your friends, or it’s about career decisions or about relationships or family, one’s actions depend on one’s personal values, wouldn’t you say? I, personally, wish that what’s expected of me would be to live my life by following my heart and happiness. But, since that isn’t the case, I would rather not disappoint myself, because my Self and I, we have to live together for a very long time.

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