Quicksand

“You must never feel badly about making mistakes,” explained Reason quietly, “as long as you take the trouble to learn from them.”
—Norton Juster, ‘The Phantom Tollbooth’

How can it be that you have come such a long way, changed in so many ways, thought you’re wiser and know better, but still make the same mistakes you made 10 years ago?! How can you blame the situation or luck or destiny for it? How can you be mad at any other people involved? The only person who’s responsible for this is you. You have to analyse yourself and see where you went wrong. How did you find yourself here again?!

You’re the one who had to have learned your lessons. You’re the one who had to learn to be careful. You’re the one who should’ve learned to be smarter than this because you’re the one who has to look out for yourself, who has to protect your heart. No one else is going to do that for you. And neither should they! Others will look out for themselves. How can you hold that against them?! Others will want themselves in situations that work to their advantage, maybe consciously, maybe subconsciously. How can you expect any less?! It is up to you to avoid that mire. You have to take a look at it and say, “You know, this is too messy for me. I respectfully decline.” You have to stay away from it if you know what’s best for you. Why should anyone else do that for you? But, sometimes, even when you see flickers of the past’s murkiness in it, you still go on, treading dangerous waters, hoping it will somehow end differently. Have you learned nothing?!

And, so, when you find yourself repeating old mistakes that you’re supposed to have learned from you can only be furious with yourself. For not realising it. For not seeing through it. For assuming all others have your best interests at heart. For basing your trust on your faith in other people, not on facts. For if you’d looked at the facts which cannot lie and, logically, sensibly, considered them, you would have caught yourself before falling. You see, it isn’t those who forget the past who’re condemned to repeat it. It’s those who don’t learn from it.

8 thoughts on “Quicksand

  1. the selfishness of some ppl is beyonndd imaginable ! we all fall in that trap once or twice- making same mistakes again… but they r not concious mistakes… it shows that inspite of all the wrong and bitterness,we have a good heart or the intentions are not bad.
    dont over analyse yourself.. as long as u relaise your mistakes and learnings,your r just right !

    1. I really didn’t intend to say that their selfishness was a bad thing. Maybe they don’t even realise what they’re subconsciously doing, you know. Maybe they do have the best intentions at heart, but somewhere it doesn’t work for us. We cannot expect any more from them either because how are they to know us better than we know ourselves? They have to do what’s right for them and we have to do what’s right for us. And it’s this that we lose track of. Of course, it is possible to think of it this way only if you know the other person well enough to know that they did not intend to cause any hurt.

      1. yess ! I agree a 100% ! We keep learning and discovering our ownselves with time,so how do we expect them to understnd us a 100%.All we do is place our faith or belief in them,and hope for the best.Many people dont realise the gift or blessings of good relations and take it for granted.

    1. That is a good read; thank you for sharing it. However, I wasn’t speaking of losing oneself in a relationship. This one was about knowing your mistakes and not repeating them, knowing what didn’t work for you, what left you heartbroken and recognising it when it appears again.

  2. Hope is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. -Vaclav Havel

    1. Ursula, I think it is beyond amazing that despite the hundreds of thousands of miles (give or take a few) between us, you still know exactly what my frame of mind is. This quote suits it so perfectly…it has lightened my mind and made me release a breath I didn’t realise I was holding. :) Thank you tremendously.

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