I would kill for wit like hers. Kill! Okay, maybe just gravely wound.
I have an arch nemesis at work. Yes, I have an arch nemesis, no I do not feel lucky.
I dodged a bullet a few days ago. The Demoness stood in front of me flipping through her wedding invitations. A cold chill ran through me, probably the Angel of Death, her buddy, dancing on my grave.
My mind was reeling. I don’t know what you get the Guardian of the Gates of Hell for a wedding present. Can you go with coal and switches? Or should your gift be more traditional, like hellfire and brimstone?
Then she said, “Oh, I forgot I only invited my friends.”
To which I replied, “Wow, guess you only needed one stamp.”