And Most Importantly

Speak your mind. Believe in yourself and your actions. Have faith in your deeds. If you cannot stand behind your own doings, you are doing something wrong. If you have strong convictions, don’t hesitate to speak your mind while keeping it open. You will take in what anyone else says while quietly remembering your own beliefs. You will take in what everyone else says while silently knowing exactly what you stand for. Must it be reiterated that what you believe in and the behaviours that follow must not hurt another person?

Do you ever feel something’s gnawing at you from within? Do you have that feeling of unrest or hurt or discomfort? Maybe you wonder why you feel so hot and bothered. Maybe you just try to ignore that feeling. Maybe you’ve tried to figure it out or maybe you let it lay dormant until one fine day you see that nothing stays bottled up for long. Everything is manifested in some form or the other. Maybe your pent up resentment will erupt one day. Maybe you will feel the stress of the discomfort created by a hurtful person’s presence in your life. Maybe your silence will take its toll on your relationship. Grasp the nettle.

Speak your heart. Believe in your feelings and your reactions. Don’t pretend. If you are upset, admit it. If you have hurt feelings, expose them. Calmly. Rationally. Talk. Be reasonable. Express your feelings. Talk about alternative courses of action. Don’t point fingers. Don’t exaggerate. Listen to the other person, understand and respond accordingly. Hold your ground if you believe in your reasons. If an apology is offered, don’t treat it like a gift horse; look it in the damn mouth. That apology’s usually the easy way out.

There are people who apologise and when you ask them what they’re apologising for, they say “Everything.” What the hell is “Everything”?! Don’t they know why they’re sorry? That, right there, is an insincere apology. They’re apologising not because they mean it, but just so you stop being upset because of their thoughtless actions. They don’t know what they’re apologising for and that makes your acceptance of it terrible because you’re sanctioning their insincerity. You are telling them that that’s their way out of a tough spot or a sticky situation with you. Those people play the victim and make useless, unhelpful, loaded statements like, “Everything is my fault!” or “I never do anything right!” or “You’re always right and I’m always wrong!” How, pray tell, is any one of these statements productive? They don’t really believe any of these.They’re using these statements to throw you on a guilt trip so you will acquiesce and comfort the victim instead of focusing on your own feelings. Argh.

At the end of the day, so long as you know what you’re made of and believe in yourself and know what you’re talking about, your stands will be justified and no one will be able to point a finger at you. Speak the truth, be honest, live a logical, emotional, passionate, loving life. No one else has a say in it and their opinions don’t really matter because they aren’t living your life. You are. Live it on your terms and live it well.


Add Yours
  1. My Musings

    Very well said!!! Love it!
    And to quote Elbert Hubbard:
    “Be yourself and speak your mind today, though it contradict all you have said before”
    “He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.”
    It’s your life, live it on your terms and live it well, as you say. God bless.

  2. hellionworks

    ‘Sorry’ is probably one of the most overused words of this age, and usually, in the most casual and indifferent way possible. ‘Sorry’ is supposed to be as close to a promise to do things in a better way as possible; and not just a stopgap. Unfortunately, that is what it seems to have boiled down to. And seeing people around use it to overcome a difficult situation is not half as painful as it is to see the person who lets the errant one get away with it. And no, letting things slide like that cannot be masked under a cloak of supposed maturity, unless the person doing the forgiving is seriously beyond such pain. It may be wrong or right by my standards to forgive people based on their apologies, sincere or otherwise. But unless I have the emotional fortitude to deal with all those little bits of hurt that people around have to throw at me, I would definitely be doing myself a grievous wrong by giving them an opportunity to take me for granted.

    Beautifully expressed piece, and I love what you’ve said at the end about knowing what you’re made of and believing in yourself, because at the end of the day, that really is what makes each of us who and what we are.

    • Karishma

      It’s true…an apology has become the easy way out of even the stickiest situations and it takes time and experience to be able to tell when it isn’t sincere, but we let it go when we want so desperately to believe the other person means it when deep down we really know better.

      Thank you. It takes knowing yourself to live on your own terms with no regrets, no matter what follows.


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