Consequences, David…It’s the little things.
– ‘Edmund Ventura’, ‘Vanilla Sky’
There were days when I’d have pieces written, impatiently waiting to be published but for the last few days I have had but one thought on my mind. Take a moment to reflect on the transient nature of feelings and emotions. Yes, they change over time, they change as people around us change and they change as we change. But what about those feelings which exist one moment and don’t the next? I’m not talking about the moment your world collapses when you find out the person you love is cheating on you. You’ll go through a million emotions before you really lose those feelings of love or affection or fondness or whatever was keeping you together. Maybe you’ll even bounce back from it. Who knows? Some people have relationships which are strong enough to recover from such gross mishandling of trust. I want to focus on those instants in which your feelings change completely. Have you been able to pinpoint them?
It’s an instant in which the fog clears and you finally see things clearly. Do you think it is this one act committed in a nanosecond which has suddenly altered your emotions? You have been blind to many flaws all this while, some are yours and some aren’t. Many times I’ve seen that moment hold a situation of less magnitude than ones you’ve weathered before. But the truth is you’d ignored those. You’d gone on, thinking the situation would improve. You’ve been patient with them and each time you’ve let go of the hurt you were caused. Now it’s all coming back. Everything you had pushed to the back of your mind is coming to the forefront. Every wound this person had created in the past appears to be chained to the harsh words you’ve heard now and they’re all opened up again. This is the cumulative effect of all those reasons you had ignored which are now slamming into this tiny act, magnifying its effect, changing your feelings, in an instant, seemingly.
This has been a long time coming. You’ve encouraged the other person to not worry about the after-effects of their statements and actions because you’ve always tolerated it. You have perpetuated that behaviour and so they don’t think of consequences anymore. They don’t care if they break your heart because you’ve always tolerated that pain. They don’t care if they hurt your feelings because you’ve always healed them before they could find out. You’ve let them get away unscathed each time and they cannot even begin to imagine that your feelings for them could change. They don’t think about the possibility that the rope of the relationship will wear thin. And why should they think of it? The precedents you’ve set for them have dictated your journey to this day when what appears to be only another drop in the bucket makes it overflow. The words were uttered thoughtlessly and the deeds were committed carelessly because they haven’t had to think of what follows. To them it appears to be trivial, but so was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.