I wrote this almost exactly a year ago but didn’t share it then because I thought feeling so strongly about him made me weak. Now I believe that accepting how you really feel–about anyone and anything–is what makes you strong, and so here it is, dedicated to The One Who Wasn’t.
You said, “I know that you love me.”
“But I’m not in love, you should know.”
You laughed and I just let it be
If you love me too, just say so!
I was afraid and could not tell
You, “Once with you I was in love!”
You shouldn’t know, oh, how I fell,
That secret won’t be given up
You make no effort, you don’t try,
There is no need, you know I’m yours,
You know I dream of you at night,
Although I saw you months before.
You said that once upon a time
You thought I’d be the one for you
But when we stopped feeling sublime,
Was it just me? Were you hurt too?
You think that I love you a lot,
Or I’m in love; “Nope,” I deny
I say, “I don’t,” tell you I’m not;
You are still you, so I still lie.