This is one I’d written and saved a few years ago when I went through a particularly devastating break-up. It was written for personal emotional release, but I shared it with a few friends who were going through something similar that year and it seemed to hit home for them too, so I thought it deserved a spot here.
A relationship has ended. It’s the death of a relationship. A relationship with someone for whom you had a lot of love and affection. All couples fight, don’t they? Does it mean they don’t love each other or that they never did? Of course not. So when a relationship ends, it’s only natural to feel grief. Cry your eyes, heart and soul out. It’s okay to do that. It is, after all, a loss. The loss of someone you spent years with. You talked to this person every day. Every single day of your life for the last few years. Maybe you lived together. You spent time, love and affection on him. He did too, make no mistake about that. But sometimes these things just run their course. It reaches a dead-end, maybe a place you’ve been to many, many times before. But if it’s not broken, don’t fix it, right? So you just turned around without trying to find another route, not knowing that you were fated to come back there again. Because you didn’t change anything. By you, I mean both the people that formed the relationship. It’s rarely, if ever, just one person’s fault. You both have good and bad qualities. Don’t idealise him or yourself and don’t do the opposite either. But accept it for what it is: The End…of one chapter of your life. It isn’t the end of the world. Think about it, haven’t you been through tough, maybe even tougher situations than this before? You’ve made it through all that, right? You’ll make it through this too. You’re stronger than you realize. Crying does not make you weak. It feels good, doesn’t it? I suggest you cry as much as you want to until you can’t cry anymore. Just make sure you keep eating and showering between those crying sessions. If you can have friends come over, all the better. Analyze every little detail with them until you cannot go any deeper or until you don’t care. If you are by yourself, do the same on your own; you’ll only emerge from it stronger. I know dealing with the breakup is difficult. Did someone tell you it wasn’t going to be? They lied. It’s not easy at all. Some days you will be fine, other days you will feel like you’re in an emotional abyss. Some days you will feel like everything will be okay and some days you will come home and collapse into a heap of tears as soon as you walk in the door. Just know that you are strong and that this feeling of doom will pass.
New edit, for there are some who need this addendum: Don’t make any contact with the other person…at least for a while, until you’re emotionally ready to move on completely. If you feel your resolve weakening, think about the reasons for the end. Reaching out to them will not help, whether you’re emotionally dependent on them or you want to knock them to the same level of despair as you. You have to break away and make a clean cut. At some point, if you try really hard and if both parties are ready, you may be able to become friends. Until then, keep safe distance. Contrary to others’ opinions, hurting them will not–can not–make you feel better in the long run because you aren’t an inherently malicious person. Are you?