Toxicity

Excuse me, what is wrong with the world? If I tell you “I’m not happy in this situation” why would you tell me to remain in it? Why should I compromise the quality of my happiness? Please tell me why I should not fish myself out of the tangle of unhappiness. Don’t you love me? Don’t you at least care for me, for my well-being? Why would you want me to live a depressing life, one of little joy and fulfillment?

Every person is different, there may be a situation a person is able to live with but someone else such as I may not even want to deal with the first sign of it. So when I tell you that I do not wish to stay in this mess, that it isn’t something I want for myself, then don’t tell me to keep trying. I tried, I’ve had enough and I want no more. That’s it. Accept my decision or respect it, or simply tolerate it, whatever. But don’t try telling me to give misery another shot. I said earlier that maybe I don’t know what I want yet, but at least I know what I don’t want. Isn’t that a start? This is what I couldn’t get out of my system. This is what was causing my stupid writer’s block.

No, I don’t think life and relationships are all about compromise. No, I don’t think someone should stay in a relationship just because he or she does not want to be alone and I definitely don’t think anyone should give up their principles just for the sake of lifelong companionship. Is that so wrong?

Are we masochists?! Why would we want to be miserable? Shouldn’t we love ourselves a little more than that? If your brother or your sister or even a very close friend was stuck in a cheerless relationship shouldn’t you tell them that they shouldn’t accept that sort of life, that they shouldn’t settle? Why shouldn’t we do the same for ourselves? Why shouldn’t we remove ourselves from toxicity if we can?!

Call me opinionated, if you want. I am shocked that people think one should have to deal with such relationships–even encourage one to, that some people consider it a normal part of life. Being with someone just because you don’t want to be alone may just be the worst reason to get into a relationship, and to stay in one too. I would rather be single than be an unhappy and miserable part of a couple. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Don’t you think you deserve to be happy? Don’t you want to be with somebody with whom you’re not constantly arguing? Don’t you think life should be filled more with laughter and smiles than with quarrels and frustration?

Yes, there certainly are ups and downs in every relationship, but the question is which is there more of? Compromise is not the answer! It is just a rug covering up a hole in the floor! No matter what you do in a relationship, it shouldn’t feel like compromise. I have learned that if it feels that way, you will not  be satisfied with yourself. You may begin resenting the other person because you’re not doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for them and then you will start to feel like they should acknowledge it gratefully and be forever in your debt…because look at what you’ve done for them! That’s a lose-lose situation, darling.

People often say, “This is the way I am. Take it or leave it.” Well, give me that choice: I’ll leave it. I know there are people out there who can deal with it, who would rather be attached, and have someone in their life than be happy. It’s likely that there are people who won’t even see it as a problem or know the difference, maybe they’ll think that’s just the way life is. I’ve been there, I’ve learned my lessons and it isn’t for me, so please allow me to respectfully bow out. Thank you.

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