I tap away at the keyboard, writing word after word after word, hoping something well-written comes out of it. I have never had so many drafts saved. A few sentences, or paragraphs and even one completed draft sit among them (Why didn’t I post it? I don’t think it’s very well done. I’d say it’s mediocre at best) . It’s making me restless. Writing is a way for me to get things out of my system. See that?! I said “things”! I couldn’t find the right word for it and I didn’t try more than a few seconds! It’s creating unrest within me, I’m telling you
I read all those drafts that have been added in the last two days. None of them contain the real issue. Is that why I’m unable to write anything coherent? The real “thing” that must be flushed out of my system is something I cannot write about publicly. In thinking about it, it isn’t possible to make a piece that could be filed under the category ‘Musings‘. You would find it if you looked in ‘A Detailed Account of What Went Wrong‘ and that, darling, would truly be wrong. It would be in poor taste, and it would be construed as malicious and spiteful. Only those who are privy to my private life can link most writings here to the specific events that inspired them, and that’s how it should stay.
The problem, I’m starting to realise, is that I have not been waiting for the idea behind the piece to fully form. I have a slight inkling of what I could write about, I think of a decent sentence to start with and I start typing away! Needless to say, there’s no substance to make paragraphs of. The mind must be cleared, some exercise must be got and deep breaths must be taken. Maybe I’m just trying to rush it.
Also, I have to start reading again. Reading good literature inspires me to write. I haven’t finished reading a book in a long time. I’ve started several. I’m in the midst of Atlas Shrugged (I left it behind in Toronto; I intend to finish it when I’m back there in a week), The Virtue of Selfishness (It quotes Atlas Shrugged! What was I supposed to do?), The Sunbird (No excuse, really, besides laziness) and Dr. Zhivago (I have had to restart that one many times because I always put it down for too long).
Alright, I really hope you’ll hear from me soon on a more interesting subject. I’m surprised I managed to write even this shaky bit.