forget those moments you thought were good memories. forget those little occasions you thought were special. the past is just that–the past. you have learned from it. each moment has done its job and prepared you for the rest of your life. that was the purpose and it has been served. now why must you continue to focus on it? why do you think it necessary to let it be known? you think your experiences have taught you important lessons. if you wish to impart the morals of your many stories, do exactly that. the stories themselves can be unnecessary, irrelevant, tiresome, dull, hurtful, depending on the audience. the events do not matter; only the lessons they have taught do.
it may be helpful to take a step back and look at your actions, your words, their impact and the result. how was your mind working? what made you utter them? why are you behaving the same when nothing else is? when you look at it from a distance can you not see that everything is different? this is not about you anymore. you have nothing to prove now. it is done. there are no games. there is no winner and no one will lose. realise that before it is too late.
do you like to read? this is not just a new chapter. it is a new book. it is an entirely new story and this one is not like the dark tales you have been feeding off of. this story does not need drama to make it whole. this one does not ask for any tumult, not in your life. it can be pure with no murky undertones. perhaps you are not used to the good. let it wash over you. let it make you happy. try not to fight it too hard. just be gentle. it will only get easier. let it be.