Laughter, The Best Medicine

I learned to laugh at myself a very long time ago. I was in an all-girls boarding school and the only thing I was known for was a sharp brain. I was the brightest kid, a good actress in school plays, an excellent speaker at elocution competitions and debates. I wasn’t pretty and when a boy from a neighbouring school did like me, everyone laughed and said there must have been a mistake. I laughed too. I agreed. There was a prettier, popular girl in my class who liked this guy and he knew it. No one could understand how he could like me instead. I couldn’t either.

I was never popular when I was growing up. I was a geeky nerd who could be counted on to help others prepare for their exams because I was always already prepared. We had these little cliques in our class. Three, to be exact. I wasn’t a part of any of them. So there was a small side-clique of the unpopular ones. The truth is I wasn’t really a part of that either. You can’t make everyone happy but I always wanted to get along with everyone. Even now, if there is someone I am not on good terms with, it bothers me. I simply have to get along with everyone, or else something is wrong with the world.

You end up being flexible and respecting other people’s opinions. You have your own and they’re strong, but you don’t undermine another’s or trivialise them. You state your convictions, beliefs and ideologies, but make room for those of other people too. You learn how invaluable different perspectives are.

All my friends thought my mother was beautiful. She really is. They always wondered how it was possible that such a beautiful woman could have a daughter like me. “Your mother’s so gorgeous and look at you!” they’d say. “How come?” they’d ask. “I don’t know,” I’d reply. I never wondered. My mother was beautiful, I was not. It was a fact of life. They made fun of me and I laughed with them.

When everyone laughs at you, you learn to laugh at yourself. I don’t know if that becomes your defense mechanism, but it doesn’t help you learn to retaliate. It doesn’t teach you how to laugh at someone else or how to make fun of them. It doesn’t help you fight back or argue well. It does make you reach a point where you feel backed into a corner. Then when you do say something they call you “uptight” and claim you can’t take a goddamned joke. So, again, you take a deep breath, crack a smile and let out a chuckle.

5 thoughts on “Laughter, The Best Medicine

  1. what the hell… ur one of the prettiest girl i know.
    N trying to get along with everyone is difficult. One needs to think of it as an ongoing process without any end or reward . Just a selfish pursuit that makes us feel good about ourselves cos thats the way we are. it becomes easier that way.

    1. Thank you, Priy…It’s so hard to admit though that our actions are not born of a selfless part of us. It is difficult but there is a reward to it: Being liked by everyone…which in turn leads to us feeling good about ourselves and–there you go, you’re right–makes our reason anything but selfless. Interesting thoughts, P. I like your perspective.

  2. The reason for this is easy to explain. Kids, and some adults for that matter, are unable to use multiple attributes to desribe a person.

    “Smart”, “Geeky”, “Pretty”, “Popular”, “tomboy”… none of these are mutually exclusive.

    Someone can certainly be pretty as well as smart and you’re a clear case.

    Being intelligent is a blessing and a curse. It’s a depressing comfort knowing that most people lack the ability to see things the way that you do.

    1. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I’m not sure we know each other, but I like the way you think and the way you put your thoughts into words. It’s refreshing.

      1. HI Kiddo,
        I always knew you were beautiful (and intelligent); I was just waiting for you to discover it. I like to think that real beauty comes from deep within and that’s why it takes some time to develop and show up; versus shallow beauty that is really just features that go with the common concept of beauty. Real beauty develops and then shines through giving you an aura of beauty all around. Love, AS

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