The Homecoming*

It is always better to be with someone because you want them in your life and not because you need them.

5 years of living alone teaches you a lot. You learn to cook for yourself and clean for yourself. You keep your home tidy because you want it so and not because someone is nagging you. You learn to organise most aspects of your life because no one else will do that for you. You arrange your closet so your clothes are easier to pick out, you make your bed every morning so it’s inviting when you come home tired in the evening. You want to have coffee every morning before you leave for work, so you must wake up earlier because every thing has to be done one at a time, because there’s only one of you. You wash your coffee cup as soon as it’s empty because God knows you’re the one who will have to do it later if you let it pile up.

You even learn to take care of yourself. You don’t even wince when you chop a finger, you know you will get the blood to stop flowing and bandage it yourself. You become skilled at squeezing ear-drops into your own ear and zipping up your dresses and buttoning your shirt’s cuffs. You figure out how every little piece of technology in your home works. You become a pro at handling an electric drill and using it expertly to put nails in your walls. You change lights, fuses and locks by yourself. You negotiate great deals with cable and phone companies. You learn to live on your own, by yourself.

Now if you miss your family, you miss your mother not because she would cook for you, or your father because he would help you hang pictures on your walls, and you don’t miss your brother just because he would open tight jars or tell you that your router just needs to be restarted to connect again.

Now you miss your mother’s loving touch as she wakes you in the morning, your father’s silly jokes at the dinner table as he pats his own back claiming he’s outdone himself with the cooking and your brother’s sheepish smiles with the classic “Oh…heh” when he suddenly realises a mistake. Now you want to go home…because it’s home.

The working of divine powers is mysterious and desire is a powerful device. Sometimes it works and you don’t understand how or why. Sometimes you get what you’ve wished for with no knowledge of the intensity with which your little heart has asked for it. Oh, if only you knew…

*The title was decided by Pops


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  1. Gabbar Singh

    I agree that when you are your own support system then you learn things or accept to learn things that you wouldn’t have otherwise. But when I look back would I rather paint by wall in brick red color and applaud myself on the choice of color or would it have been better fighting with someone to pick the color, mess around with them while painting the wall and in the end enjoy a glass on red wine in the same room, making a toast to our accomplishment. My word for 2009 was “Santulan” which means balance. Learn some by yourself and eventually share it with someone special.

    • Karishma

      I agree with that completely. To live happily is to accept change, embrace it and let it change you. But I think sometimes there’s a certain happiness in going home, not because you have to, but because you want to. It’s all a matter of personal opinion, perspective and desires. You know you’re perfectly capable of living absolutely happily on your own, but you choose to go home to live another life which is perfect in its own other way.


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