Character: Trait-or

I take back some of the things I said earlier. Maybe some incidents do leave us shaken. Maybe it is possible to destroy the faith you have in other people. Maybe that’s because it makes you question your judgement of other people. Perhaps we aren’t good judges of character. Maybe you are too trusting. Maybe you don’t want to believe the bad. It doesn’t occur to you that if someone can take advantage of someone else’s trust he can misuse yours too. If he can use devious methods to track another person’s movements, he can do the same to you.

Why do you consider yourself special? What makes you think that you are untouchable, that you are different or that your relationship with this deceptive person is different? Maybe you even see him turning into someone else, doing things you never thought him capable of, hurting someone he used to love and be in love with. You point this out to him. You tell him that this is not him, that he is better than this, that you are shocked by how low he has stooped. He admits the same. He seems to realise it and you think that he has. And all the while, you have no idea what is going on in his head.

It is only your unwavering faith in him that keeps your relationship alive although he has done little to warrant it. You notice his disappearing acts where he vanishes into thin air and you are left wondering whether he is dead or alive. Then he reappears and apologises and promises to make up for it and you promise to give him a chance to. Little do you know what your precious friend has been up to during that period of absence. You don’t know that he has concocted elaborate stories, stories that you will not question because you don’t know why he would lie, and it is this trust that he uses to fool, to deceive.

You have no idea that this person whom you have placed so much trust in that you will gladly confide in him your deepest, darkest secrets, all your passwords, the PIN for your debit cards and whatever else you would never, ever share with the rest of the world will take advantage of this one day. One day he will hack into your electronic life and cause turmoil in your real life. You will share with him this disturbance and he will pretend to comfort you. You will have no idea until months later when you find a friendship he had ruined resurfacing. You will notice telltale emails deleted from your mailbox. You will change every password and remember all those times that you had allowed him access to the very core of you and wonder what else he has access to.

You will wonder if this person has a conscience. You will tell yourself to never forget that a person’s character is revealed through little actions, by the way they treat other people too and not just you, by other relationships in their life. You will hope that you remember that a person capable of lying to, of deceiving someone else they love is capable of doing exactly that to you for that is the character they play…

If you think about it, it’s the same way it is in movies. We are shown snippets of a character’s life, of their interactions with other people, their relationships, their words, their actions…and all of that allows the audience to define the character and sets the foundation for what is to come. Why do we treat similar instances in real life as a one time thing every time and make so many allowances for them? When somebody has helped outline their own character for us why are we so foolishly eager to ignore that and treat them as erratic individuals instead of people with a pattern to their character that their past actions have drawn? Observe. Learn.


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