There is a song that reminds me of you. Everytime I hear it I think of you, of us. It reminds me of all those times I heard it playing on the radio and called you from work to tell you I miss you. It reminds me of every feeling I had for you in those moments. It reminds me of that time you called me and didn’t say a word but just had the song playing because that was all you wanted to say. It reminds me of that time that we listened to that song all night and you told me I didn’t know how much you loved me. It makes me miss you so much. It makes me cry sometimes and the tears remind me that this was my choice and at the same time make me wonder when I will stop missing you.
There is another one that reminds me of that night I went to bed at 1:30 in the morning. At 2:00, you called. You knew I’d been trying to get in touch with you for months. You were a little tipsy, and if you weren’t you would never have called. I didn’t know if we would talk again so I stayed up all night talking to you, even as I got ready to leave for work at 8:00. I asked you to listen to two songs that I liked because when I heard them they made me think of you. You said you had liked them too. One of those also reminds me of that girl, the one you were seeing when you visited me afterwards.
But most of all it’s that first one that makes me think of us. I won’t ever forget how you surprised me by showing up on my doorstep because you knew I was upset or how you just held me as I fell asleep in your arms. I know we tend to idealize the good times and disregard the bad, I know our paths will never cross again and I know that you may never read this but if you do you should know that you are missed. I know this will pass, I just have no idea when…because I thought it already had.