I is for Selfish

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a woman and a man who had been dating for over 3 months and things seemed perfect. They had great chemistry, good conversation, saw each other 15 times a week for movies, dinner, lunches, and what have you. She was happy. Everything seemed to be going well—until he realized that their dates were merging together and turning into what seemed like—oh, the horror!—a relationship. So, what did he do? He pulled back completely. Suddenly she found herself initiating plans with no success, seeing him less and less often and no longer finding him as affectionate. When she decided to talk about it, the truth came out. He did not want a relationship. They were exclusive, yes, not seeing anyone else…but what he wanted was complete and utter freedom, and to ditch the relationship label. She started realizing that that meant seeing each other when he felt like it, not expressing any affection that could be deemed “relationship-y”, not doing dinners with other couples because it seemed too “couple-y”. What, then, defines a romantic relationship? Is it merely couples dinners and sweet nothings? Why, if he wasn’t seeing other people and didn’t express the desire to either, was he not willing to be within a ten-mile radius of a relationship?

Generation “Me”. We have learned to put ourselves ahead of everyone else. It is our needs that are most important and not anyone else’s. We don’t care what makes someone else happy. WE come first. And of course we do! No matter what relationship you’re in shouldn’t you be happy? If you’re not happy wouldn’t you leave, irrespective of the other person’s needs and wants? The reason that story was introduced was to show that the guy effectively ended what seemed to be a good run abruptly with little regard for the girl’s feelings, without talking it over or discussing it like a grown-up. It seems that when he realized what he wanted he did not want to compromise on it and decided to get it at that very moment. Doesn’t it also tie in perfectly with today’s concept of instant gratification? Is there any other kind anymore? Delayed gratification is so passé. We want exactly what we want, nothing less, and we want it right now. In a world unimaginable without instant coffee, credit cards, diet pills and overnight deliveries who would want to wait for, well, anything…even true love?

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