Mr. Heckles

Yep, that’s right, the guy from the wildly popular sitcom ‘Friends’, the one who lived in the apartment under Monica’s and Rachel’s. Remember how he would come up to their apartment to tell them to keep it down? Well, I know exactly how he felt. Recently, the person(s) living in the apartment above mine have started annoying me in the same way. Okay, so I can’t hear people walking around or something, but that’s not the only sound that can annoy you, is it? There’s the sound of furniture moving everyday, the sound of falling objects, the sound of…other things, I’m sure. In fact, sometimes it’s so bad that I feel like they’re doing it just to annoy me. Sometimes I hear something that sounds like beads falling from a necklace. Then two seconds later, I’ll hear it again. And another two seconds later, again!! HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU DROP IT BY ACCIDENT, BUTTERFINGERS?  I don’t believe someone could be that clumsy! Surely, there is some purpose to it. The person must know how annoying it is. And I’m fairly sure the purpose is nothing but to bug the living hell out of me. I bet they’re sitting up there with nothing else to do, so they come up with these little schemes to annoy the heck out of me. I feel like yelling at the ceiling: “I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO!!” And then I think that I’m probably going insane. So I stay calm. I listen when they drop something; once, twice, thrice. Then there’re a few moments of silence. Then it falls once again and I feel like pulling my hair out (but I don’t because that’s just painful). There are days when I hear the sound of a pencil falling and rolling. Not once, not twice, but again and again and again. What are these people doing, testing to see what direction the floor slopes in? Why do they care? Sometimes it sounds like someone’s pounding on the floor with the pencil. Can you believe that? How thin are these floors? What if this person can dig through it with that pencil? Why else in the world would someone be hammering the floor with a pencil? And why do they want to dig through it? We have lifts and staircases. This morning, like many other mornings, I wanted to be like Mr. Heckles and pick up a broom and bang on the ceiling with its rod until they stop it. But then I have a thought: what if those who live below me are nice enough to ignore my “clumsiness”? And besides, the place really is extremely quiet for the remaining 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day. And no one tells me to keep it down when I’m blasting loud music in my apartment. Points to ponder? Nah.

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