Delirium

I wrote this almost exactly a year ago but didn’t share it then because I thought feeling so strongly about him made me weak. Now I believe that accepting how you really feel–about anyone and anything–is what makes you strong, and so here it is, dedicated to The One Who Wasn’t.

You said, “I know that you love me.”
“But I’m not in love, you should know.”
You laughed and I just let it be
If you love me too, just say so!

I was afraid and could not tell
You, “Once with you I was in love!”
You shouldn’t know, oh, how I fell,
That secret won’t be given up

You make no effort, you don’t try,
There is no need,  you know I’m yours,
You know I dream of you at night,
Although I saw you months before.

You said that once upon a time
You thought I’d be the one for you
But when we stopped feeling sublime,
Was it just me? Were you hurt too?

You think that I love you a lot,
Or I’m in love; “Nope,” I deny
I say, “I don’t,” tell you I’m not;
You are still you, so I still lie.

~ Karishma

4 thoughts on “Delirium

  1. Very well written!!
    Makes one proud and astonishes what all is there in your mind, yet to come out.

    There come times in our lives where we should stop and take stock of the events of our life.
    Let there be no regrets. Just learning experiences. Let me explain.

    There was a time when I was the best orator for 3 years in a row in the states of Punjab & Haryana, had a strong friend circle and a fan following in these two states.
    Come my jobs and the friend circle stayed.
    Over a period of time and in stages the friend circle was erased and I had to follow the monotony of life.
    Fast forward to 2011. I have lost everything I had – my friends, my wealth of having worked for 33 years and my emotions. What I did not lose was my integrity, my work ethics and the capacity and strength of my mind to generate ideas and create new things.

    I stopped and thought. Would I like to re-do any part of my life. No. No way.
    i will draw strength from what happened, but would not want to change anything.
    I am totally responsible and only I am responsible for having lived that life. I will not blame anyone else. It was my and only my decision to have lived that life.
    Reason – the last 30 years has given me two jewels.
    The purest of flowers – “Kamal” – grows in the filthiest of waters and still stays pure.
    Out of life in which I have no regrets of what if? I have two children who are like the flower “Kamal”. Pure in spirit. Great of mind. Fearless. Handsome / beautiful.

    In a similar way, let your experience of a year back, which has brought out the poet in you (and i am happy about it) treat it as a stepping stone and you are stronger due to it.
    Let you mind continue to use the experiences of life to grow to greatness and I am sure one day you will write a best seller I will see in the New York Times as topping the charts.

    God Bless.

    • Thank you very much for your kind words. I maintain that a life well-lived is one without regrets and in any of one’s personal relationships one will have no regrets, no remorse if one follows logic and reason, whether dictated by the mind or by the heart.

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